Listening – A Key Leadership Skill at all Levels

A quote sent to me by a client is very profound! “The biggest communication problem is we don’t listen to understand, we listen to respond. Too often people speak more than listen and even though they act as if they are listening they are forming their rebuttal! We all understand communication is key in building relationships, solving issues and reducing conflict, and yet it is something with whom many struggle. With technology today, it becomes even harder to communicate and be a good listener. Here are some key ways to improve your ability to listen.

1. Actively listen and care about the person speaking: Turn off any distractors that are moving your attention away from the speaker. This means putting down your cell phone or turning from your computer to truly listen. These distractions jeopardize your ability to listen and tell the person that what he or she is saying is not important.
2. Listening as two–way communication: When listening to a person, find opportunities to check for understanding by either paraphrasing what was said or asking questions for clarity. Much time and productivity is wasted because the recipient of the conversations or instructions does not have a clear understanding of the desired outcome.
3. Listen for underlying issues: Often when people communicate there are underlying messages that never get addressed. Good listeners attend to these background messages, the unspoken emotions and concerns, and empathize with the speaker either verbally or nonverbally leaving the other person feeling cared for and really understood.
4. Utilize active listening skills: Really pay attention to the person through eye contact, open body posture and undivided attention. This will help the relationship to build trust.

Listening is a complex process that involves accurately hearing what people are saying and getting a sense of who they are and what they desire. It even includes “listening” to what people aren’t directly saying, or what they might be too fearful to say and creating a safe space for them to openly and honestly communicate. This creates a win-win for all!