Do You Understand the Power of Your Words?

All too often, a conversation with an individual or employee who is struggling uncovers messages he or she has received some time in their life that is affecting their ability to succeed. A 70-year-old man recounts how his math teacher told him he should take general math because he was not smart enough to take algebra send this student reeling. He still carries that message today although ironically, prior to this conversation he received honors in school. Yet another is told they are not smart enough to be a teacher and spends their adult life trying to find the same satisfaction in other work that becoming a teacher would have been. In the workplace, not much is different. Your employees will live up to your expectations 100% of the time whether it is positive or negative.
Yehuda Berg states “Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.” Our words can change the trajectory of a person’s life or career so one needs to be wise in their use of language.
 

What is your goal? Do you want to put the person down and give them a piece of your mind? Do you want to improve how you two communicate? Think through the benefits you are trying to establish then see if the person will meet with you. To use your words more wisely, think through what outcome you are trying to create then ask yourself, “Is what I am about to say going to get me what I need?” If not, then think of how you might change the language you choose to use. A good way to help a person understand what you are trying to accomplish is to frame your conversation. Instead of saying, “We need to talk,” it is better to say, “I would like the opportunity to speak with you about some opportunities to improve the way we interact, so it will give us information in a timelier manner.” By letting the person know what you are trying to accomplish then they will not be guessing why you want to meet.
 

Once you meet think about where you want to meet and find a respectful private location is necessary. Help the person feel comfortable and ask their opinion of the current situation and listen. Instead of getting in your head and thinking of your rebuttal listen carefully to the other person’s opinion. Clear up any miscommunication and offer suggestions in a respectful tone. See if they have any suggestions as well. By spending time thinking through what you hope to achieve you can minimize stress and maximize productivity between the two of you.