A recent experience helped me to better understand the role of mindset in our day-to-day lives and interactions with others. One of my clients has been reading books like “Leadership and Self-Deception” and “The Outward Mindset.” These books align nicely with my work regarding how your belief about a person prior to a conversation influences your approach and the perceptions you form regarding the interaction.
These books define the different types of mindsets. An inward mindset is defined as self-focused, attuned only to one’s own needs, challenges, objectives, and results. On the other hand, an outward mindset is other-focused, caring about their needs, challenges, objectives, and collective results. In the story I’m about to share, I experienced both mindsets within 2 hours!
My yearly exam was approaching, so I went to have the two tests my physician ordered. Truth be told, it had been a long time since she submitted the order. Since I don’t currently have any health concerns, I decided to put it off. I arrived about 25 minutes early and, to my surprise, was told I could go straight back. The first technician was very helpful, and I thanked him for his demeanor and how he explained the process. All in all, it was an enjoyable experience.
Upon leaving, I asked where the lab was located, to which he said they use the same waiting room. However, the technician had gone to lunch late, so it would be a few minutes. I replied that it wasn’t a problem. So, I returned to the waiting room about 15 minutes later. The receptionist’s window opened, and the first person was motioned to come forth. Two other people had arrived after me, and I was next in line. I didn’t notice that the technician had put out an iPad when suddenly one of the other people jumped up and went to the window.
I asked, “Is that the place to sign in?”. She responded that it was and quickly put her name down. I immediately felt frustrated because she knew I was there first, and, in all honesty, I think I sneered at her! She was called in next, and as I sat there, I thought, “What is your issue? You have completed your work for the day and plan to shop after this. You don’t know if the other woman had a place she needed to be.” I realized I was looking at her as an obstacle and not considering her needs. I felt a switch inside, but not before the woman came out and rushed past me!
I was then called to the window by the technician who asked for my paperwork. When I said I had been told that it was still valid in the system, she glared at me and told me to sit down. Although she was abrupt and had a rude tone, I decided to approach her kindly. When it was my turn, I asked if she had been busy. She said there had been a steady stream of people that day. Then she complained about older people struggling with signing in and said something about wishing she could just retire. I then started asking her questions about herself and joked around with her. By the time I left, she was smiling and wished me a great rest of my day. How different it would have been if I had taken offense at her first approach.
After my test, I stopped in the store to pick up a new mat for my kitchen. That was the only thing I was there for, so I didn’t take a cart. When I approached the register, there was a woman in front of me who appeared to be leaning on her cart for support. The mat was large and a bit awkward, and the woman immediately offered me to go first. I thanked her and said I was fine, but she insisted. She saw my challenge and wanted to help me despite her own challenges. I thanked her several times, paid for the mat, and left. When I got in the car, I sat momentarily thinking about what had transpired over the last few hours. I started with an outward mindset and quickly replaced it with an inward one. Through self-awareness, I was able to move my mindset outward again. It truly was a roller coaster afternoon, but an opportunity to become more self-aware made it all worth it.
