Push Yourself to Face Your Demons  

Have you experienced events in your life that have altered the course? Have you faced a situation that, in a moment of time, has changed how you view yourself? Many people have, but how does one rise from the ashes?   

It becomes difficult when you see this person as a gifted leader who can no longer meet the challenges of the position. You cannot push anyone to do anything they are not at a point to face, but here are some suggestions to help them face their challenges.  

First, create a safe space for the person to be in to encourage honest conversations. Work to establish trust with them by listening with empathy and trying to put yourself in their position. Validate how they are feeling; if you have had similar trials, share them if you are comfortable.  

You are not a therapist, but you can help the person understand how their experience affects their personal and professional lives. Offer them a confidential space to encourage honesty. Do not force them to share any more than they choose to. You can offer support, and if you have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), refer them to it.  Also, if you have ever gone to therapy, sharing your experience and encouraging them to go may be helpful.   

Ask what small steps they can take to deal with their trauma. Create a tool kit to help them deal with things that trigger them. Ask if they have been open with their place of employment so they better understand what is driving their behaviors. Ask what they need from you. Encourage them to build a network of supportive friends and colleagues. Let them know you will support and encourage them as they work through their issues.  

It may be frustrating to see talented people ruin their future, but you cannot push anyone to do anything. Even though you work in their best interests, it must be done in their time. Sadly, the energy it takes to run away from something is greater than pushing yourself to face the challenge and move on.   

Hopefully, in time, they will choose to face their demons.   

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Beth Sears provided her time and expertise to assist us in resolving a difficult and emotionally charged situation regarding our next work season in Africa … Beth was able first to empower us to honor the fact that there was major conflict in our thinking and helped us define a process to deal with the differing opinions. … In our final meeting, it was amazing to see the most entrenched and angry member of the group changed their demeanor. We came to a fine resolution and are a stronger body because of the experience. Beth deserves much credit for guiding and encouraging us and giving us the tools to meet our challenges. I recommend her work without hesitation.
Nancy Joiner Reinert | Chair, Communications Committee | Water for Sudan (Now Water for South Sudan)
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