“Respectfully Candid”

How can you be candid, yet still be respectful? A while ago a friend referred to me as “refreshingly candid.” I really liked that because often when you hear people speaking candidly it does not come out respectfully. Candid is defined as “marked by honest sincere expression,” and it all is determined by your approach.  I believe a key here is being honest and sincere.  Sincere is defined as “free from pretense or deceit; proceeding from genuine feelings and saying what you genuinely feel or believe; not dishonest or hypocritical.”

To communicate honestly and sincerely means to share your feelings about something. The key is your perception and feelings may be different than the person with whom you are communicating. It is helpful then to check out their perception of the situation. Make sure the person is open to having a conversation and approach it in a tone and manner that will lend itself to clearing up any misperceptions. Inquire in a genuine tone and listen for understanding. Ensure your tone and body language is in alignment. Ask permission of the other person such as, “Do you have a minute as I would like to check something out?” Then either ask for their perception or offer yours in a manner that is nonjudgmental. It is important that you think of things in terms of the greater good for both of you. If people took time to have honest, candid conversations to find out if their perceptions are accurate, a great deal of conflict could be avoided.

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Beth Sears provided her time and expertise to assist us in resolving a difficult and emotionally charged situation regarding our next work season in Africa … Beth was able first to empower us to honor the fact that there was major conflict in our thinking and helped us define a process to deal with the differing opinions. … In our final meeting, it was amazing to see the most entrenched and angry member of the group changed their demeanor. We came to a fine resolution and are a stronger body because of the experience. Beth deserves much credit for guiding and encouraging us and giving us the tools to meet our challenges. I recommend her work without hesitation.
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